Tuesday, April 26, 2011


Sputum seems to be everywhere we go. Men folk of all ages have an impressive ability to hock up a tremendous quantity of the matter. And it’s distressing to see more and more women doing the same. Maybe that’s why no one wants to kiss the ground anyone walks on?

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Did You Wash Your Hands? Olivia J Wants To Know.

Olivia J is pretty, pretty smart, and pretty clean. She’s eleven years old and knows that it all comes out in the wash. Well, maybe not everything but Olivia knows that if we wash our hands the right way, something’s going to come out in the wash.

There are children and adults among us who will run out of the bathroom skipping another important pit stop - the sink. Sadly, for many it won’t be a new habit, it’s one that was never learned or enforced by parents and caregivers.

We asked Olivia a few questions about the importance of washing hands and how she handles the subject with her friends and fellow classmates.

1. Do you remember when your parents taught you the importance of washing your hands?

Yes, I do. And I remember them saying (actually more my mom) every time I came out of the bathroom to wash my hands. And I did. More recently, they have enforced the rule of coming home and washing your hands. And every time one of my friends comes over, I always tell them to wash their hands!

2. How many of the kids you go to school with leave the bathroom without washing their hands? A lot? Most? A few?

Not a lot. It's actually more of the boys than girls. I don't know why. But, some of the boys in my grade are very good about washing their hands.

3. Do you ever confront kids that don't wash their hands?

Yes, I confront them when I don't hear the sink going on, and the minute they come out of the bathroom, I ask them if they’ve washed their hands.

4. What do they say to you? Are they embarrassed?

They usually just groan and go back into the bathroom. And usually, just to bug them, when they come out again, I say: "Did you use soap?" Then they usually groan again and go back in. It's really pretty funny. :)

5. What advice would you give people?

I would say, when it comes to touching anything that other people have touched, ALWAYS CARRY HAND SANITIZER!

6. Any other gross habits you see?

Well, sometimes. A lot of people know this, but, something like little kids picking their noses, again, HAND SANITIZER!

Olivia J has spoken and we agree. Thank you.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011


There’s nothing like a great piece of bread with some butter. (Olive oil is another delicious story and we’ve already covered that ground.)

How the butter gets to the bread  or how you break it becomes interesting.  If the bread is sliced, take a slice and put it on your bread plate if you have one. It’s all right to put bread on a clean tablecloth (French bread works better than sliced white on a table for some reason.). We’re not too keen on doing the same on uncovered tables that could have been used as rests for handbags – you don’t know where those bags have been. If the bread isn’t sliced, just pray that everyone came to the table with clean hands.

Once you have your bread, tear off a piece and put the butter directly on it.  If you have a plate, take a whole pat or enough from the butter dish just for you. Don’t worry about restaurants running out of butter. Their purpose is to butter us up. Unfortunately, some places, usually diners, serve iced butter squares that tear up your bread before you can tear into it. We don’t have any advice for you there. Just understand where you are and own it.

Tina Wong:The Wandering Eater
How you make your bread and butter is up to you. Slapping  and spreading butter on a whole piece as if you're on an assembly line may not be your most elegant move.  And whatever you do, don't dip a piece of bread you've had a bite out of into a communal butter dish. If you do that, you’re breaking more than bread.