Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The Unpatriotic Act Of Spitting

Spitting is awful.  There's no ladylike or gentlemanly way to spit. The last time we did it was when we were babies and it was reported that one or both of the twins, "spit up today."  

Why can't people wait until they get home or to a restroom and spit up in private?  No one should be subjected to the possibility of contracting tuberculosis or who knows what else because someone couldn't hold their spit. When you think about it, you can begin to understand why there are shoeless households ( see July 1, 2008).  Our poor soles. 

There is one spitter who stands out from the rest and is more despicable than his/her fellow expectorators - the visitor from another country. It is heartbreaking to see someone who came here to enjoy our Land of Opportunity only to spit on it like nothing.   When you see this we don't recommend that you say anything because you could end up being the next target.  Yvonne will try and catch the person's eye and with all her might look down at the disgusting glob and then quickly look up again at its owner's eyes with great sorrow.  She is convinced that her subtle protest makes people think before they spit the next time. I don't know about that.  I'll sometimes throw them a dirty look. I don't say anything because they've already spat and some of them look kind of crazy.

Many men spit because they think they have the hormonal right to show off their aim.  Excuse us for being a little disgusting but beware of the the man who has just spit and wants to kiss you. You see where we're going?  You need a map? Ladies invite your gentlemen friends to wash their hands and take a swig of that mouthwash that should always be readily available in your bathroom. Maybe you can help him kick this habit by starting up a little conversation about how you little you think of men who spit in public. You will know if he's guilty by his posture - send him back to the bathroom. 

This hasn't been a very pleasant topic for us today. We love this country and there's no reason why we all can't make it a better place to rest our soles on. 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I love this blog. I read every post and was chastized by one. You two talk about such real problem subjects with humor and good instructional information. it's fun to read. Keep writing.