BBQ TIPS & MEMORIAL DAY

It’s just about that time of year to start slapping the steak and ribs on the grill.  No doubt, you’ll either host a barbecue or be invited. It's Memorial Day weekend.

Some hosts will provide everything and will graciously accept your bottle of wine or homemade Sangria.  No need to surprise them with baked beans, thirty-six ears of corn or anything else they didn’t ask for.  The gesture is well intentioned but could take up valuable counter and/or table space and waste.   

If you’re hosting a potluck cook out, make sure guests check in with you for your needs, this way you won’t have too much dessert.  Oftentimes, guests think you can never go wrong with a pie, in fact you can go hungry with just pie and get awful sugar rushes that make small children go nuts.

If you’re a vegetarian, supply your own veggie burgers and faux hotdogs. Your hosts will probably appreciate it.  But you shouldn’t expect them to scrub away any traces of meat.  Take extra just in case others want to try a meatless Monday.

The best tip for all – respect and honor the significance of Memorial Day, it’s not just about the ribs.  That’s why wishing someone “Happy Memorial Day” is inappropriate, there is nothing happy about the thousands of men and women who died for their country. It is honorable.

NATIONAL ETIQUETTE WEEK, WON’T YOU STAY?

Pretty please National Etiquette Week, we all need you to stick around. If you do maybe people will stop spitting on the street. Maybe they’ll rinse away their dog’s puddle of pee away from the front of buildings. Who wants to be a human puddle jumper?

National Etiquette Week, we need you to stay with us so maybe our chests are no longer treated as luggage racks by back packers and ladies with huge handbags that they don’t seem to care about because they get in their way and end up in our way.

As you know, National Etiquette Week, Rome wasn’t built in a day but maybe if you’re around, we won’t have to listen to the music of tin bands coming out of the ear buds of people who think they’re cool or are too cool to care. Men may stop looking at women and the elderly standing as they sit in all of their coolness (they usually look to the floor, funny, when we listen to music in our homes we don’t stare at the floor) and ignore the world around them.

If you stay, compliments will be earnest, not half-baked and they will be received graciously. People will return phone calls and emails. They will say, “Thank you!” How about that? We could go on and on, but we prefer that you do that. All the best and it’s good to see you.

AL FRESCO WITHOUT SPITTO By Yvonne

Strolling along Second Avenue on Manhattan's Upper East Side, where I’m convinced that all the restaurants share a vast industrial kitchen underground, a pizza pie caught my eye. It had just been placed on a sidewalk cafe table where a family of three was happy to see it and at the same time an acquaintance who’d spotted them. He didn’t step back to distance himself from the fully loaded pie, he just kept talking all over the salami, peppers cheese, etc. For me, he was too close for comfort food.

I am in touch with my germ issues. And it made me think about the time I saw friends with their daughter and marveled how properly she ate her bread, small pieces with little pats of butter. They were eating al fresco and I remember being mindful of not adding any moisture to their bread plate.  I'm sure they’ll let me know if I did the right thing after this post.

Unless you are begged to have a seat, a wave, or even an air kiss is fine but when the food comes, it’s time for you to go. Buon Appetito! Buon Viaggio!

LETTERQUETTE TO THE EMPLOYED

 

Dear Employed Person,

            First, congratulations on being employed during these challenging times.  You know that it can change on a dime and it could be you seeking advice or a connection.

            So, the next time a friend, family member or acquaintance either calls you or emails you, acknowledge them. Respond, call back and treat them the way you would want someone to treat you if you were in the same position. If you can’t help, let them know you wish you could. If you have any thoughts or tips, share them.

            Since companies are leaner and meaner, you’re probably doing twice the work and most likely can’t get back to people immediately, that’s okay but no need to keep them waiting for weeks. And in all fairness to you, you may have good emails in your junk mail file - visit it every now and then.

            The thing about email versus a phone call, you don’t have to spend time talking about the weather or asking about the family or spending time on the phone for all to see in the new open space model of most companies.

            The New York Times recently ran a piece on unanswered emails. There were some very good points and there were a couple of lame excuses, read for yourself.

            To the unemployed, wait a couple of weeks and follow up. If you still don’t hear back, move on, you’ll regret sending that email that gently scolded the non-responder. Remember, they don’t think they’re rude; they’re just too busy for you. And maybe one day, you’ll be able to show them that you know better when they come calling on you.

Let's Not Think About Bread Plates, Let's Think About Boston.

CHEWING: MOUTHS WIDE OPEN

Recently, on a magnificent spring day, I, Yvonne was having lunch with friends at a restaurant called Robert, a very nice restaurant on the top floor of MAD (Museum of Arts and Design) boasting wonderful views.

We had a great window table, the only problem, when I chose to look straight ahead there was a teenager having lunch with her parents. Instead of seeing another angle of Columbus Circle, I was privy to seeing tens of thousands of dollars of braces accompanied by smacking noises. 

“My ex-husband eats like that,” a friend yelled. “I couldn’t stand it.”  She said she would point it out but it was too late to break an old habit. 

Yvette and I were tasters on the cooking/talk show, 'The Chew’. The audience director told me not to worry if food slops while we’re eating, “Just have fun.”  Since when did getting on national television and purposely letting food fall out of your mouth become fun?

That food even gets to the mouths of many is a miracle with the way in which forks and knives are held. But when it does get there, must it ruin the view of nearby diners?

  

Depending on the person showing off their food to you, consider your relationship. If it’s your child, you have every right to correct him/her, the same goes for your companion although you may not want to say anything in the company of others. If it’s a friend you see once in awhile, consider not dining with them, you can always have a drink.  It's really difficult to drink with an open mouth.

THE SPY WHO CAME IN THROUGH THE COMPUTER

There’s something spooky going on in this vast social media world we live in. We have amateur Mata Haris and Kim Philbys gathering ‘intelligence’ from people’s various accounts – people they don’t even know.  

It’s unnerving that anyone, friend or foe who’s a friend of a Facebook friend can just click and drag away a photo and do as they wish.  Do you really want that picture of you with your eyes crossed compliments of an extra martini circulating? We may not be able to protect our privacy like once upon a time, but if we’re really friends, we can protect each other.

Recently, I almost posted a group picture and one of the women, who is always impeccably dressed had a small wardrobe malfunction, so tiny many wouldn’t have noticed but I did so I didn’t post, and what's more, I didn’t have her permission.

So, I won’t be doing Mata Hari for you. Nor should you do it for someone else. It’s sleaze city. Why would you want to live there?