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On a sunny, warm Sunday afternoon, Roy Paul of WNSR invited us to talk about etiquette. Hear what we had to say.
 http://wnsr.parsons.edu/2012/05/20/yvonne-yvettetiquette/

DOORMEN & DOORWOMEN, THE ONES NOT TO TIP

 

You see them every day on the subway. They are bold and oblivious. They are the door people. And if you think they will get out or you way to let you on a train or off, for get about it. In fact, you’re in their way.  You do not exist and you’re in their way. And they don’t care about

Recently, Yvette had an encounter with a doorwoman, a nasty piece of work. She couldn’t understand why Yvette had no choice but to push past her to get on the train. Words were exchanged and Yvette got the feeling that this poorly weaved young woman would have resorted to violence.

These are people not to be messed with. They are already telling you who they are just by their actions or lack of. So, the only tip we have for you is a safety tip – keep on moving, don’t say a word.

ABOUT YOUR PERFUME

 

 “If it’s a good friend, you should tell her, “ a friend said when asked what would she do if someone she knew doused herself with too much perfume.  “If not, just open a window.”

 

Joy, our resident wealthy living adviser had to tell her best friend one day that her expensive perfume was making her car sick and nauseous. “She understood and chose our friendship over the perfume.”  It doesn’t really matter how much a man or woman pays for a bottle of fragrance, too much is just plain too much. 

“To me,” said Yvette, “perfume should be a surprise. Someone gives you a hug and suddenly realizes and likes the scent. Perfume shouldn’t announce someone’s arrival.”

Once a scent seeker always a scent seeker, man or woman even in a car - the person using ounces and ounces of perfume a day thinks nothing of festooning his/her car with smelly little trees or scented clips that fit onto vents.

Yvette’s advice is to say nothing.  I think I’d go along with the good friend route and say something because too much perfume can be so nauseating it becomes a stinky proposition.  

What would you say?

Who Wears Short Shorts?

In the past, we've talked about the importance of buttiquette when there's little maneuvering space on an airplane, for example.  Recently, we've seen another version of poor buttiquette, women and girls wearing the shortest of shorts during their travels.

There's nothing wrong with dressing comfortably since air travel has become so uncomfortable lest you're traveling on a private jet or scraped up enough mileage to get upgraded.

But short shorts? There is nothing more unattractive than when they get all bunched up in the crotch area. We shudder to think of what the ramifications of wearing underwear-like garments could mean to others who sit in that seat afterward. (You don't really think that seats are sanitized do you?) Okay, this is getting gross, and gross we're not.

Is it time to consider a dress code for travel before we see yellow polka dot bikinis on board? We're just wondering.

SPRING BREAK

TALK TO THE HAND, I HAVE A COLD By Yvonne

The other night, I went to greet someone at a dinner party I hadn't seen in a while. My arms were wide opened, I was smiling.  She said, “Don’t come near me, I don’t want to give you my cold." I had no intention of giving a French kiss, or going anywhere near her lips. I was planning on a good old-fashioned cosmopolitan air kiss. I know she didn’t mean it but "talk to the hand" gesture put me off a bit.

She sat down with her drink and dug into a bowl of small crackers.  She didn’t say anything to the crackers, nor to us and of course, crackers don’t talk. So, I spoke for all of us in the room and in the bowl, “You'll probably pass your cold to us by tucking into the bowl of crackers," I said with a chuckle.

We’ve all,  and definitely with good intentions, avoided someone’s friendly greeting by pushing out our hand in a gesture of protection. If you have a cold and you think you’re that contagious, why are you out?

Did you tell the bartender that you had a cold when he picked up your glass? Did you touch doorknobs and ring bells? Did you tell the taxi driver not to touch your money because you have a cold? Did you not shake hands at the networking party?

I have a confession. I have had a cold and hugged friends and relatives. I haven’t heard a sick report because it wasn’t the nasty, drippy cold. Had it been, I would’ve stayed home.

There’s has to be a better way to protect people you care about without making them feel like you don’t care about them. I like air kisses myself and plenty of soap and water.

At the end of the dinner party, The Cold Lady gave each and everyone of us a big, hearty hug! So far, no cold reports.

When Size Manners Matter

I once belonged to a group of women whose purpose was to learn the secrets of healthy relationships. The meetings took place in a different home once a week. One of the women was quite nice and trying hard to come out of her shell. She appeared to be younger than most of us, she was certainly bigger. She weighed about three hundred pounds.

At the end of each meeting we'd figure out where we would meet next. As much as I wanted to host a meeting I didn't jump at the chance because I didn't know where to seat her. There was the sofa where three average sized people could sit comfortably, if she sat there, there would be room for just two. My dining room chairs appeared to be sturdy but I feared that their sleek, Italian design would be compromised by a few hundred pounds. There was the wicker bench but even when I sat on it sometimes, I could 'hear' it.

I never did have that meeting not just because of the weight issue but the group as a whole was getting heavy. I hope they have since learned the secrets to being nice.

How does one resolve the issue of hosting a person who carries a lot of weight? Be honest and caring. Direct him or her to a seat that you feel is safe. That's what I did recently. A friend came to visit me and I had two seating options for him. One he rejected, nicely, pointing out that the first chair could roll over. The other seat was all right but not as wide. Being a gracious person he found a way to sit in it and assured all of us that he was all right.

I spend a lot of time on city buses. There is nothing more unpleasant than sitting next to a person who can't help but occupy their seat and part of yours. If it's very uncomfortable, don't get up in a huff. Just say, "Excuse me, I'm getting off next stop." They know how big they are and it's not your job to make them feel badly about it.

When you find yourself in these situations and handle them poorly and you will know when you have, the only elephant in the room will be you.