Friday, September 19, 2014

Public Displays of Discipline: What would you do? By Yvonne

You’re walking down the street minding your business. Behind you, you hear a child crying. You turn around and look and an adult is slapping him/her. Do you intervene or mind your business?
            I have seen this, and I did not walk away quietly. Once, I yelled, “He’s a baby!”  “Mind your #$% business!” the child’s mother ordered. While she spewed her curses at me at least her child had a respite, and maybe she will think before she does that again, in public or the privacy of her home.
            One social worker suggested to approach if possible, if not, call 911.  Another points out how important it is to suss out the situation first, she too said 911 is probably the best solution, this way it gets reported. A social worker from Brooklyn emphasized that this is a community issue and it’s time to take ownership of it. Get involved some sort of way.
            In light of the news of sports figures and their domestic violence issues against children and women, many organizations and city agencies come to mind, such as Stop Abuse, dedicated to stopping the history of domestic of abuse in families against women and children. It’s a very informative site as is that of the New York State Office of Children and Family Services (all states have their own sites and protocols). NYC Administration for Children’s Services is another government office, and there are others like it nationwide.
            Etiquette, a funny word when talking about abusive behavior toward children. An ironic thought because often times children are disciplined harshly for displaying a lack of manners and respect. They are punished in ways that clearly demonstrate a lack of civility.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014


I started to interrupt my vacation to bring you this year’s Rudy Award Winner. I changed my mind because stupid, insensitive questions, unfortunately, are here to stay.

One night this summer, I was at a really nice party in Harlem taking in a barely there summer breeze on a patio. A young woman was sitting at the table. Some how the name of a late and great musician (Hint: He played the trumpet.) I told her that I’d once dated him. She asked, with out missing a beat, “Did he beat you up too?”

I don’t know what makes people tick, but I know what ticks me off, stupid ass questions! So, Miss Obnoxious congratulations on earning a well deserved RUDY. Here are your beat up flowers.

Think before you speak and think before you ask.

Monday, August 11, 2014


Since many seems to be minding their manners. We're going to take advantage and go mine some more etiquette tips.

Thursday, August 7, 2014


            Not much. The other day I was facing a woman in a restaurant. No problem with that, she had her table and I had mine. It was a pretty nice place and I was looking forward to a quiet lunch.
            All was going well until I looked up from my smoked salmon and noticed that the woman was busy picking her teeth with a toothpick (Either she brought her own or asked because there were none on the table.)
            What a dreadful sight to behold. She was just diggin’ a way. I guess she didn’t consider going to the restroom to really get down to business.
The expression of Her Majesty demonstrates brilliantly how I feel about the picking of teeth in public.
            There’s nothing to say to someone who uses toothpicks at a table, unless you know them well, very well.  Now, if a particle of the woman’s lunch came flying over to my table, I wouldn’t hesitate to say, “Excuse me, Miss, a piece of your lunch is now on mine. I wish you wouldn’t do that at the table.”  Maybe I should lose the last part? Or maybe the part about the piece of lunch?
            Oh, I don’t know what I would say.  I give up on public tooth picking pickers.           

Friday, August 1, 2014


I’ve been spending some time on the Hampton Jitney and I’ve seen some disturbing behavior.

What is about the Jitney that makes people so ill mannered?  The pretzels? Is the juice not up to their liking?

One woman could barely get a thank you out of her mouth. When asked if she’d like water, she answered, “Make it two.”  No “please”, no “thank you”. Her daughter’s made herself comfortable with her feet on the seat; the soles of her flip-flops were filthy.  Note to self – no white jeans on the Jitney. The attendant came through a couple of times with a trash bag, you wouldn’t have known for all the empty bottles, newspapers, and wrappers she and her daughter left behind.

On another trip, I sat across the aisle from a father and son. The father was dressed casually chic, the son quietly focused on his iPad.  When they got off the bus, the mess they left behind, was, well, a mess. (See photo)  I shudder to think of what their housekeeper meets every time she walks into their home.

Could it be that it’s the least expensive of all the coaches in the Jitney family that makes people forget their manners? Do they have them in the first place?

I don’t think so, I think it’s about people who are used to having others pick up their mess without ever expressing gratitude or appreciation. It’s enough to give you the jitters.

Monday, June 30, 2014



There is nothing more disheartening than the elusive recruiter, especially one you like. You call, you email – nothing. Ouch.

But don’t despair, check that box and move on. (sort of like dating) Don’t badger them or try and make them feel guilty. “Recruiters are probably receiving an average of 250 resumes,” points out Ryan Kahn of the Hired Group.  He thinks you should give them seven to ten days to get back to you and then you can send a gentle reminder that you’re interested in the position and you’re just following up to make sure they received your information. 

A couple of Ryan’s dos are:
1.     Go beyond job boards. Pick 20 companies you like, go to the site and figure out how to meet one person at this company, you can try emailing them to begin a conversation, maybe eventually have a coffee. The benefit in this could take six months when the right job for you comes up.
2.     Do flip the script, instead of asking how they can benefit you? What can you do for them in the way of contacts? This way you become a facilitator, you’re helping them.
3.     Do use Linkedin, it’s a good way to find people at the companies you like or who knows whom, this can lead to a contact or a reference.
The bitter truth – while Kahn responds to everyone, some recruiters are just not that into you because there’s a job that’ll yield a higher commission that’s more worth their while.

A talent recruiter at a major public relations firm suggests that you check in after a week. A good candidate will ask about timing before leaving the interview. Some of his dos are:
1.     Over prepare for every interview. Research, research. “You’d be surprised how many come to interviews unprepared.”
2.     Tell the truth, some candidates use a bit of hyperbole – sales numbers go up, wins are embellished and there’s more “I” than “We”.
3.     Do know when it’s time to move on after due diligence and follow up calls and still nothing, it’s hard to do but keep going.
4.     Do understand that recruiters are overwhelmed but he says, “There is no excuse for recruiters to be lazy. We have to make time and put ourselves into candidates shoes.”
The bitter truth – When someone doesn’t get back to you, he would take it as a slight but advises that you cast a wide but selective net so that you don’t become overly consumed by someone’s lack of professional courtesy.

Good luck and find recruiters who like your shoes enough to stand in them; maybe it’s all about style after all. (The Manolo Blahnik sale starts today.)

What do you think?