Wednesday, October 15, 2014



 Oftentimes, people have the need to assume who’s who in the family when they meet people they don't know.  A common faux pas is when an older man is with a younger woman and someone asks, “Is this your daughter?”  

That's me on the left, and my daughter on the right.

The other night I was at a Knicks game with my twin, Yvette (Did you see us on the Jumbotron?).  We had pretty good seats, two men in front asked if we wanted to swap seats so they can sit closer to their friends next to us.

They helped Yvette climb over to a seat. And then one said, “We’ll help your mother, don’t worry.”  I would be the mother. Yvette told him I was her sister. He said I must be someone’s mom. I told him, “I’m barren.”

Maybe this wasn’t the most elegant response. But the lesson here is don’t assume that when you meet people they’re related. You’ll find out when proper introductions are made, be patient. It’s not a guessing game. No need to grow family trees.

Listen to me, mother knows best.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014


A friend suggested that I should talk about people with manners for a change. He’s right.

  •   Today, a woman stopped texting just in time to avoid crashing into me
  •   “Watch out for the people,” a parent yelled as her kid sped down the street on his scooter.
  •   A man held a door for me.
  •    A woman put her toddler on her lap so that an older person could sit.
  •   A teenager offered me his seat on a train.
  •    I received a handwritten thank you note from a newlywed couple.
  •    A recruiter returned an email.
  •    Another recruiter returned a phone call!
  •    A perfect stranger paid me a compliment.
Have you seen any good manners? Please share, we can never have to many. Thanks!

Friday, September 19, 2014

Public Displays of Discipline: What would you do? By Yvonne

You’re walking down the street minding your business. Behind you, you hear a child crying. You turn around and look and an adult is slapping him/her. Do you intervene or mind your business?
            I have seen this, and I did not walk away quietly. Once, I yelled, “He’s a baby!”  “Mind your #$% business!” the child’s mother ordered. While she spewed her curses at me at least her child had a respite, and maybe she will think before she does that again, in public or the privacy of her home.
            One social worker suggested to approach if possible, if not, call 911.  Another points out how important it is to suss out the situation first, she too said 911 is probably the best solution, this way it gets reported. A social worker from Brooklyn emphasized that this is a community issue and it’s time to take ownership of it. Get involved some sort of way.
            In light of the news of sports figures and their domestic violence issues against children and women, many organizations and city agencies come to mind, such as Stop Abuse, dedicated to stopping the history of domestic of abuse in families against women and children. It’s a very informative site as is that of the New York State Office of Children and Family Services (all states have their own sites and protocols). NYC Administration for Children’s Services is another government office, and there are others like it nationwide.
            Etiquette, a funny word when talking about abusive behavior toward children. An ironic thought because often times children are disciplined harshly for displaying a lack of manners and respect. They are punished in ways that clearly demonstrate a lack of civility.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014


I started to interrupt my vacation to bring you this year’s Rudy Award Winner. I changed my mind because stupid, insensitive questions, unfortunately, are here to stay.

One night this summer, I was at a really nice party in Harlem taking in a barely there summer breeze on a patio. A young woman was sitting at the table. Some how the name of a late and great musician (Hint: He played the trumpet.) I told her that I’d once dated him. She asked, with out missing a beat, “Did he beat you up too?”

I don’t know what makes people tick, but I know what ticks me off, stupid ass questions! So, Miss Obnoxious congratulations on earning a well deserved RUDY. Here are your beat up flowers.

Think before you speak and think before you ask.

Monday, August 11, 2014


Since many seems to be minding their manners. We're going to take advantage and go mine some more etiquette tips.

Thursday, August 7, 2014


            Not much. The other day I was facing a woman in a restaurant. No problem with that, she had her table and I had mine. It was a pretty nice place and I was looking forward to a quiet lunch.
            All was going well until I looked up from my smoked salmon and noticed that the woman was busy picking her teeth with a toothpick (Either she brought her own or asked because there were none on the table.)
            What a dreadful sight to behold. She was just diggin’ a way. I guess she didn’t consider going to the restroom to really get down to business.
The expression of Her Majesty demonstrates brilliantly how I feel about the picking of teeth in public.
            There’s nothing to say to someone who uses toothpicks at a table, unless you know them well, very well.  Now, if a particle of the woman’s lunch came flying over to my table, I wouldn’t hesitate to say, “Excuse me, Miss, a piece of your lunch is now on mine. I wish you wouldn’t do that at the table.”  Maybe I should lose the last part? Or maybe the part about the piece of lunch?
            Oh, I don’t know what I would say.  I give up on public tooth picking pickers.