Thursday, April 14, 2016


…someone tells you that you smell like their grandmother?

The receptionist at the doctor’s office could not have been nicer; she patiently made calls searching for records lost in the system. She took a pause to spit into a bottle. When she did that a second time, I asked her if she was all right. She explained that she was pregnant with her second child and had hypersalivation.  All I could say was, “Oh.” I wanted suggest that she turn away when she spits but I needed those records.

Happy that she located them, she told me, “You smell like my grandmother.” I was speechless. I never equated my grandmother to any kind of smell outside of the kitchen where the aroma of  her chicken and dumplings ruled, but I wasn’t wearing Eau de Chicken and Dumplings. 

“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Whatever you’re wearing, it smells like her.”
“It reminds me of my grandmother, she died and I’m getting sentimental.”

I thanked her for her patience and wished her well. I hope she teaches her children to think before they speak, impress upon them the importance of language and social skills and to never spit in public or at their desks.

Sunday, April 3, 2016



Let’s face it, when you sign on to brunch, you’re signing on to a deal.  You have agreed to a meal with a beverage thrown in (maybe one or two or three!)

Fair enough to ask that no onions be added your scrambled eggs because you’re allergic. But if you want the Cobb salad without the bacon, cheese, and chicken, then you really don’t want a Cobb salad. You want more of a green salad with some chopped egg on top and doesn’t include a drink. Remember, the beauty of the brunch for the restaurant and diner is that it’s usually a prepared done deal.  If you have that many restrictions, then maybe brunch isn’t the deal of a meal for you.

Today, I had the pleasure of hearing the all time stupid request – “Can you put the vodka for our drinks in a separate glass?” Aha! No doubt they figured this would embarrass the restaurant into giving them more vodka than they think they’re getting. (This particular restaurant is known for their good pours.) The waiter explained that there would be a charge for the vodka straight up. Wouldn’t you know, all of a sudden their Bloody Marys were just fine. Talk about trust issues.

Eat, drink and be merry, and be nice.