Thursday, July 3, 2008

Sober Notes

It's commonplace these days to be drinking with people who no longer drink.  So here are a few pointers for you to remember at the next gathering.

  1. Don't offer everyone red or white wine and then when you get to the person who you know doesn't drink anymore say, "Would you like soda? We have some ginger ale." Let them tell you what they'd like.
  2. Don't serve the soft drink in a tumbler while everyone else is drinking from a wine glass. And don't whisk the person's wine glass from the table.
  3. When a person asks for something soft to drink, don't say, "Oh, you don't drink?" 
  4. Don't repeat the old Sinatra line, "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
  5. Do talk about anything but drinking habits. Don't try and commiserate and say, "I need to cut down myself."
  6. Do not prepare drunken shrimp or chicken.
  7. Don't call and say, "Why don't you bring some juice since you don't drink?"
  8. Don't marvel and express how glad you are to see them so happy and healthy again and again.
  9. Do be considerate when inviting, heavy drinkers and non drinkers may not be a winning combination especially if someone's sobriety is recent.
  10. And whatever you do, don't ever say, "You don't know what you're missing."
Yes they do. 

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