WE WISH YOU...

A MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND EVERYTHING WONDERFUL.

The Gift You Keep Giving

A couple of years ago, Yvette gave a friend a piece of furniture, a small table. The friend appeared to be grateful and happily took it home. Apparently, her happiness was short lived because she ended up giving the table to her sister. She had no problems sharing this with Yvette.

We don't like re-gifting. We think it's rude and inconsiderate and takes the thoughtfulness out of giving. People, at least we do, take great care in choosing gifts, it's not about the cost, it's about the sentiment. Many look at a present as something to cherish, re-gifters look at presents as mere stuff. It wasn't good enough for them so it's good enough to give it to someone else. Has anyone ever re-gifted Hermes scarves or Chanel bag? Please let us know.

Re-gifting can be hurtful. Once, I gave a friend a beautiful music box that played her favorite song. I was so happy when I found it and didn't care that it was more than what I had planned to spend. She gave it to someone else and like Yvette's friend, had no problems telling me. It gets me to start thinking if we really know our friends. Or if they're friends at all.

If someone gives you something you really don't want or need, ask if it's all right for you to return it. Or if there's a gift receipt, return it to the store and get something else and let them know how thankful you were for the gift and you were able to get something you really needed. Yvette's friend should've let her know that she had no use for the table. She could have explained that her sister could use the table and asked Yvette if it was all right to pass it along.

Re-gifting this year will probably be popular. But before you go shopping in your closets, cabinets and dresser drawers, think about it. Maybe this is the year to think out of the gift box. If you know someone who likes to cook, maybe you can give them a special, affordable ingredient like a flavored olive oil or exotic spice. Find a shop filled with fun, interesting things that cost as little as ten dollars or even less that are appropriate - no sense in giving a balloon making kit to your grandmother.

This year, more than ever, let's bring back the gift of love in our giving.

THE CHRISTMAS CARD GAME

Christmas or holiday cards are a nice way to get in touch with people you haven’t seen in a while and probably won’t see for a while. Many of us have observed children of friends grow up through the years by way of Christmas card picture frames. One family we know had a professional photographer photograph their family every year, the card is so beautifully produced, they’re keepsakes.

When we send cards, we like to include a brief handwritten note. Of course, it’s easier when you’re not sending dozens of cards but it always adds a personal touch. It's much better than leaving it up to Hallmark. We all know someone who adds his or own "Dear,” on the card as if they actually wrote the greeting card’s red, green or black text.

Holiday letters, when a sender takes the time to bring you up to date on what’s gone on in their life during the past year, are also thoughtful. Of course, Bah-Humbuggers think they're presumptuous because it's too much information. We’re not sure when it became bad form to bring friends up to date with what’s going on in our lives, however, better to keep updates upbeat.

For people with green leanings, the holiday card paper waste can seem criminal. A friend of ours thought nothing of throwing an exquisite, engraved Cartier Christmas card he’d received. He spent seconds reading it and threw it away without even considering displaying it on his mantelpiece. Yvette saves special cards and ties them together with ribbon. I have a few favorites and after the holiday I put them aside. The actress, Sylvia Miles sends a fun card she makes. She glues white cotton on it to represent her white mane of hair. I have years of them stuffed in an envelope.

There’s one dubious practice that we don’t support: the sender who sends only because they have received one from you. We think people who do this find it an easier way to send cards without making a card list or who have missed the point about the gift of giving - it's not about receiving.

In the spirit of the holidays we should take into account that there may be any number of reasons why someone hasn’t sent cards. If receiving a card means that much to you and you haven’t heard from a good friend, pick up the phone before you put down the pen. During these difficult times, we don’t need the house of Christmas cards to collapse too.