I’m a hat person. I wear them well, and I know I look good in hats. I just cannot figure out why, when it comes to hats, my hats, it’s so hard for some folks to give a compliment instead of giving an unsolicited comment. No one is obligated to like my hats, but, if all one can offer is a flat out reference to some cartoon or figure from another century, well, some things are better left unsaid.
Just recently I ran into an old friend, she looked me up and down (with admiration) and said all I needed was a sword. I had no idea of what she was referring to. I looked at her and said “Huh?” “Your hat, your boots” she replied. I didn’t say thank you, because I realized she was comparing my look to some Puss N’ Boots get up, and by the way, I wasn’t wearing pirate-style boots.
A few days later I was wearing a hat I picked up in Paris (trés chic, indeed), “You remind me of a Venetian Doge,” said an acquaintance. What was I to do with that comment? I just smiled, stewing inside.
You remind me of Johnny Depp,” said another person. He read my puzzled expression and said, “You know the pirate look?” (Note: this was the same hat that was missing the sword accessory, hmm; maybe it does look like a pirate hat.)
Venetian Doge, Johnny Depp, even The Mad hatter (a comment about a hat I had many years ago) these comments would be fine if I were at a costume ball. The missing common thread in all these comments was not one of these people said “I like your hat.” So maybe their comments are code for, “I don’t like your hat.”
If you feel like giving a compliment, give the compliment, if you can’t say anything complimentary; keep the historical and theatrical references to yourself , and leave my hats alone. Thank you.
I like your hat, Yvette! :)
You two are something else.
I'll make sure I watch what I say about someone's ensemble the next time.
The hat is delightful and you look gorgeous in it. Sometimes people don't know how to give a compliment even when they want to. Embarrassment?
Loved your hat piece; I've run into pretty much the same problem. If people
don't have an inappropriate response, they'll just stare conspicuously at
you and eventually ask you if you're going somewhere special. The long and
short of it is, no one wears a hat anymore unless it's raining or snowing.
I appreciate the blog... Most of us need to stop and think before we
let the words fly out of out traps.. Thanks for reminding us of what
it means to be sensitive.
Er, um, who cares about your hats and what anyone says about them. This blog used to be good and has become soooooo shallow.
People make a lot of dumb comments about EVERYTHING now. Must we all stew in silence? Can't we retaliate and tell them that they are just rude? I'm so tired of waiting for the rules to change...
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