HOW TO SAY THANKS FOR NOTHING

Recently, a friend reached out to a very successful person in the restaurant business. Our friend explained that he didn’t have any experience but would be willing to learn and ticked off his strong points – good personality, great organizer, multitasker, etc. “I really didn’t want to ask this guy for anything because he’s really busy but I did it anyway. I was looking for a job.”

The restaurateur passed him off to his HR director. Two things happened that immediately made him realize nothing was going to happen. The HR person was too busy to meet him in person and she wanted to see his resume that had nothing to do with the business. And by the end of the conversation, she said it’s not up to her to do the hiring in most of their restaurants. We wonder how she got her job? “I could understand her wanting to see the resume but she didn’t know what to do with it in terms of thinking out of the box or even suggesting where she think I could be a good fit. And I expected some face time, since her boss was my connection.”

Sometimes our friends and family are well intentioned when they try to help us out. They’ll volunteer to show up early and help prepare for a party or pick up something for you or even help find you a job.

Instead, they’ll show up when the party is well on its way, have totally forgotten to pick up what they said they would and blow you off when you attempt to follow up on the job they said they’d help you get.

We say, as hard as it can be, take the high road, first, say ‘thank you’ even though you wanted to say something else and the next time they offer you anything, politely decline. Of course, if they forgot to pick up your child at school, the high road isn’t the way to go. This person can’t be trusted to pick up anything.

Our friend who thought he had a future in the restaurant business moved on and looked for work elsewhere. He emailed a simple thank you, no sugar coating or implication of never-ending gratefulness. He thought the best way to thank him for nothing was just to thank him.