We were surprised to learn that some people not invited to Chelsea Clinton’s wedding were miffed (we weren’t). One person who was under the illusion of being a good friend complained, “I’m good enough to borrow a plane from, but not good enough to be invited to the wedding.” We all know feeling slighted isn't an affliction of the rich and famous with private planes. “After all of those free tickets I gave to her, I’m not invited?” a friend of ours whined when she wasn’t invited to someone’s wedding. They weren't even plane tickets.
So this is how it goes? Someone does something for the mother or father of the bride or even the bride and because of that there’s the expectation of being invited to the wedding?
It goes like this – at a certain point there has to be a cutoff. And maybe the man with a plane wasn’t considered a friend but just a nice person who offered to do a favor; little did the Clintons know that they owed him one. That’s not how to win friends and influence and get invited to a wedding.
Maybe the best way to handle this situation when word of an impending wedding spreads is (One problem is that people make it too much about the wedding and not the marriage.) expect not to be invited for all kinds of valid reasons – budget, location, huge families, and a large chunk of the invitee list reserved for people who just have to be invited, remember The Godfather?
A couple of years ago we weren’t invited to a cousin’s wedding but our brother was. It was hurtful, but we got over it. There was never a confrontation, no bad blood and we’re still cousins who care about each other.
When you tally up the costs of being invited – a gift, outfits, transportation (no problem if you have your own plane) maybe it’s not the worse thing that could happen. You’ll get over it.