Wednesday, May 12, 2010


“I want you to know that I went out of my house twice in the same day looking for a gift for you,” said Yvette’s friend as she handed her the present responsible for ripping the woman away from the comforts of her home, not once but twice. Yvette thanked her and wondered if a gift was in order for her friend who had tried so hard.

Somehow giving a running commentary on a present you’re giving takes the ‘giftyness’ out of it. A good gift is thoughtful and may take time to find. But there’s no need to say that when you give the present. And there’s never a need to point out how someone is difficult to shop for, it’s not like you were asked for a present. The receiver shouldn’t feel that you’ve been put out because of them. Keep in mind, that’s your perception of them. You have decided that they are difficult.

Yvette dreads Secret Santas because she’s been accused of being too picky. “I’m accosted by co-workers asking strange questions about my bathing habits, what books I hate and do I eat sweets? It’s like a secret hunt.”

There will be those presents during all of our lifetimes that’ll evoke, “What were they thinking?” They were thinking of you and wanted to give you something nice, that’s all. And all you have to do is be as gracious as you can. You may never touch it or use it but if you decided to re-gift it, send it to the other side of the country.

For the person who has everything - and they shouldn’t be faulted for that - there’s always something you can do that's significant. You can donate to their favorite charity; give them an experience such as lunch at their favorite restaurant. Whatever you do, don’t scold them or make them feel wrong because you wanted to get something so right.

Give the gift and put a wrap on the gab.


Anonymous said...

Agree...thank you!

Anonymous said...

It's really "odd" how people need to be stroked, even when they are
supposedly thinking of someone else. I'm not too cheap to give gifts; in
fact, I really enjoy giving them to the people I know and love. What's
"significant" in that is my knowing someone well enough to have some insight
into what they'd probably like. Don't we observe how others dress, where
they live, what they like to eat, what they enjoy doing when they're not
working? IF we really care about someone, don't we notice (what a concept)
some of the details about them?

Anonymous said...