We’re trying to make it a national day of observance wherein all of us, gay or straight not focus on other peoples’ sexual preferences. It gets you nowhere fast unless you are romantically interested in that person and don’t want to ask directly (and you still may not get the answer you’re looking for). The thing is, people who are not even interested in pursuing a romance with the person in question are often the most curious.
We find the question a big bore, rude and sometimes dangerous especially in the hands of those who have certain political views and worse - power. Yvonne will never forget the day while discussing someone with a magazine editor; he informed her with great authority that this person was gay.
“Really?” she responded, “He was pretty straight when I was going with him." The embarrassment on his face told her that there was no chance of her ever getting an assignment from him.
Let’s turn the dinner tables. How would you like it if questions about your sexual proclivities were the topic of conversation? Wait a minute; we hear a song, “Ain’t Nobody’s Business”. Inquiring minds should stick to their food and table manners instead.
So, what to do if someone asks you if a man or woman is gay? You could simply say you don’t know. Don’t try and figure it out with them by exploring gaydar clues. Some think a dead give away is a guy who knows how to make gravy and arrange furniture or a woman who’s never seen with a man.
If you do know and don’t care to share someone’s personal business, you could say, “I don’t ask those kinds of questions and I don’t answer those kinds of personal questions.”
Or you could say, “Funny that you ask, someone asked the same thing about you and I told them I really don’t know.”
That ought to get them back to eating their vegetables.
I had to laugh-loudly. Those last two comebacks are so appropriate. They're in my arsenal now. We've gotten (I haven't) so in the habit of discussing sexual orientation as though it were the weather and at least the weather is of some consequence to our lives.
"Great suggestion and I will pass this along!"
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