Sunday, August 31, 2008

The Price Of Gas

We had to discuss it sooner or later, so here we go. Passing gas or flatulence is a natural process. It is not a crime.  First, a little background - everyone has gas. Men seem to have more but not really, they just get away with it via jokes and the noisy guy factor. 

For some vague, healthy reason, a good friend of ours was taking the supplement Brewer's Yeast. It gave him a lot of gas and not the quiet, odorless kind. One day he was on packed elevator in a department store and everyone's worst nightmare happened to him.  
"I couldn't act like it wasn't me so I turned around and explained that I was taking a supplement and it gives me gas." He said no one responded because their faces were all scrunched up.  

Some think that they can run away from their gas. But like the saying goes, "Wherever you go, there you are."  Others try and blame it on someone else by looking in the direction of an oblivious, innocent bystander. We think you should own your gas. No one else made it but you.

The ideal situation is if you're alone or in a bathroom. But life isn't always so convenient. If you're with close friends, say, "You know this only happens when I'm really relaxed. I'm so happy to be here and have you as friends." It gets tricky if you're on a date. You can either disappear forever or just say, "Excuse me, did you hear something?" If you're with someone who is well-mannered, they will feign ignorance. 

What do we really think you should do?

Gas isn't always unpredictable. If you feel discomfort, remove yourself from the area. Try and change your diet, learn which foods are gas producing. Uncooked broccoli before a party could bring new meaning to 'life of the party'.  

Don't lose your manners because you're mortified. Keep your head up high and just say, "Excuse me." If anyone makes fun of you, excuse them from the room because they have no manners and for that - they stink.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well done. You gals are really tackling the basic issues of life which affects most of us. Congratulations on your directness and straightforward take on them.